Cherishing The Lost

The path to adoption looks different for everyone.

For some it is a calling to be answered or a way to start a family. Others find it to be the way to finish their family.

Adoption is not the answer to infertility. Infertility is a physical disability. It is a medical condition that needs treatment. Treatment doesn't always work.

An adopted child is not a replacement for a child lost.

This post is for two lost children.

A child is meant to be treasured, loved and cherished.

Not every child gets that chance. Not every child gets to be swaddled in love and devotion.

This past week marked 1 year since Adam and I lost our twins.

It was heartbreaking, and we had thought that by this time this year we would have two beautiful bouncing babies in our lives.

They were to be born on October 4th, 2012.

Instead the past year was marked by 2 pregnancy announcements (one of twins, no less) and a great deal of emotional upset on our part.

Adam and I do not have our family yet. We have tried every thing in our power, and still we long for what comes easily to so many people. But we have created life from our love for each other, and we will always remember those lives.

We will remember every positive pregnancy test, every loss and every would-be-birthday.

And while we will cherish, love, adore and embrace the children we will have, will will also pay homage and never forget those we have lost.

If you know someone who has experienced pregnancy loss, please take time to acknowledge how hard it is and how painful it will always be. It is a very lonely road.

Frustration

Our Sponsorship application for Immigration Canada was returned to us today.

Apparently we needed another form. A form that is not listed on the website as a requirement for adoption, not is it in the step-by-step instructions that walk you through an application.

As you remember there is no one we can see to ensure we have done everything right, so this is more frustrating than you can imagine.

This is not our week.

Progress!

We have received our provincial approval!

On Valentine's Day we got a call from Community Services that our approval was final and the paperwork was done and ready for pick up. So we picked it up on our way out of town.

This is a huge step and one we are thrilled about.

Since then we were able to forward our final home study report to our agency and they are narrowing down the region (aka province) that we will register in.

Once we know the region we will be able to work on region-specific paperwork, and then things will get into the international side of the process.

All in all, things are moving along very well!

Good News Coming Soon!

We have some good news to share, but right now I want to share an example of what is wrong with the world. More specifically, why Russia is so very concerned with the care of their children.

A 3 year old adopted boy from Russia was killed a couple of weeks ago. (Click here for story)

The international world has been very upset by Russia banning Americans from adopting, but I think some perspective needs to be put in place.

What restrictions would the USA and Canada put in place if our children were being adopted out of country?

I would want Canada to follow up on the children. I would want Canada to have a vested interest in the well-being of the children, no matter where they live. I would want to have the adoptive parents scrutinized to no end before allowing them to adopt.

Obviously there is no way to know what will happen in the future. But the incidences with Russian children do keep making headlines.

What we don't hear about is the good. And there is good. There is so much good. There is the type of good that warms your heart and restores your faith in humanity.

But, like any other situation in life, the bad stands out more.

So I ask you - how would you react if it were your country's children that kept making headlines in the worst ways?

Well, all we can do now is try our best to be a shining example of everything good. I invite you to do the same. We may not be perfect, but we can certainly try to balance out all the negative crap in the world.

Slow but steady

Much like a slowly receding glacier, the adoption process grinds on, leaving a trail of debris (in this case, paperwork everywhere, instead of the random boulders at Peggy's Cove (hence the picture)) in its wake. Today, I(Adam) talked to one of the workers with the province, who cleared up something with the homestudy report (trivial inconsistency between different sections of paperwork), and seemed to say she was hoping to have the approval letter done today. So that sounds good - both "approval" and "today"! There's more that they need to do, but that's another boulder hopefully behind us, which will be nice to look back on once the landscape (us) recovers and the glacier (adoption process) is all gone.

Sorry for the forced metaphor! Good news day!

Waiting

I know it's only been a week since we signed the home study, but waiting for provincial approval is gut-wrenching!

Ummm . . . Not So Much

Not only trans-racial families hear this - I've already heard a lot of them just because we're adopting!