The Privledges of A Biological Child

Recently, there was a hot debate on an internet forum (gasp!) about adoption. The conservation started out innocently enough, but quickly grew into something that can only be described as heated and emotional.

The focus of the conversation was how being adopted alters the adoptee's view of their families and life. The conversation went back and forth, until someone brought up another perspective.

How does not being adopted alter the view of family?

One person posted a link to this blog post about privileges the writer carries as a non-adopted person. I thought I would share.

Also, I can absolutely agree that these are privileges that I do not have. Nor will our child.

1. I can easily obtain accurate and complete information about my birth, including a copy of the official birth certificate issued.
2. I have never been expected to have an opinion about my parents' choice to birth and raise me.
3. I can criticize, critique, or express frustration about my childhood or my relationship with my parents without it being assumed that I am questioning our familial connection.
4. I am never asked to speak on behalf of all non-adopted people.
5. It is generally not assumed that my views on abortion or adoption have anything to do with my status as a non-adoptee.
6. I have access to at least two generations of my family's medical history.
7. I can be fairly confident that people will not praise or condemn my parents' act of bringing me into their family on moral grounds.
8. I can be fairly certain that unethical choices or illegal activity were not involved in my parents' creation of their family.
9. I can be fairly certain that monetary amounts were never directly or indirectly assigned to my gender, race, age or healthiness.
10. I can remain fairly oblivious to the experiences of first families and adoptees without feeling penalty in general society for such oblivion.
11. I have access to accurate and complete information about my life prior to my conscious memory, including my time in utero.
12. If I am struggling in relationships with my immediate family, I do not need to ask whether it is related to adoption.
13. If I am generally struggling emotionally, relationally or psychologically, I do not need to ask whether it is related to adoption.
14. Should my parents die, I do not worry that pension benefits or inheritance rights will not be assigned to me.
15. I do not see the process which created my family being used to promote such things as highway clean-ups or pet ownership (i.e. adopt-a-street programs).
16. I am usually in the company of other people who are not adopted.
17. I can expect that people will not have negative expectations about my behaviour or potential based on my non-adopted status.
18. I have never had someone question the authenticity of my family.
19. The various relationships in my extended family are reflected in greeting cards, books, television programs, movies and other forms of media.
20. I have never had my name changed without my knowledge and consent.
21. I have never had access to information about my genetic relatives limited or denied by state law or a private group's policies.