Trying To Re-purpose

Doesn't that just say it all? Trying to re-purpose. Yes. It fits our position quite well.

We are trying to re-purpose.

We are trying to re-purpose our efforts. Although we aren't quite sure what that means.

We are trying to re-purpose our emotions. No, not re-purpose; re-direct. In this case we are trying to heal our wounds, and care for one another. We are trying to accept our new reality.

While we're dealing with our new reality, we're busy feeling a lot of emotions. Anger, despair, vulnerability. It's hard not to feel like a victim of circumstance. We feel sad. We cry. We hug. We stay quiet. We stay home.

It is hard. So hard. And it's something that no one else can understand. If you haven't been down the adoption road, you don't - or won't - get it.

Losing this adoption has been a lot like losing a pregnancy. Trust me on this - I have experience. While a miscarriage is physically painful, this adoption is painful in another way: it was the first time we've every truly been expectant parents.

The room was ready, the travel items bought, and the names chosen (1 for a boy, 1 for a girl). We were ready.

We've been ready. For a long time.

So now we need to re-purpose some other things.

We need to re-purpose some of the wonderful things we've bought.

We can't return them. The return time has long since passed. I'm not sure what we'll do with everything. We certainly can't afford to give it all away.  We're waiting. Waiting for inspiration.

But there is something we need help with.

Some really great people donated some great things for the orphange. And we don't know what to do with them.

We would love to send it over, but we can't afford to just ship a heavy box to the other side of the world.

So, we could use some recommendations. Please.

The Book

One thing that families do, when adopting from Russia, is make a photo book so the child can see pictures of the new Mama and Papa in between visits. We're told that the wonderful Nannies often read these to the children, so we certainly wanted to do it!

Some people use a small photo album, and some use a fabric photo album. There is no limit to the imagination that can go into them.

We took some time making them, and decided to use a printing service. With the help of a a Russian friend, E, we managed to get he book properly translated. Once we receive it in the male we will use a few stickers to add some texture to it (maybe on kitty pages).

We're thrilled with how it turned out, and decided we would share.

Warning: Many pics to follow!

 

Q & A #1 & 2 - Referrals

Q: What happens when you get a referral?

A: We will get a referral from our agency who will contact us by phone or email (or both if we don't immediately respond). 

There are two type of referrals:

1. A blind referral - we will be given no information other than being told there is a child available that the Russian Ministry of Education feels is a good match for us.
2. An informative referral - age, gender, minimal pertinent medical details and, hopefully, a photograph or two.

Not many areas in Russia still work with blind referrals, but our agency has received them in the past and it is a possibility. If we were to receive one we, ofcourse, would be thrilled and leave as soon as possible.

We expect to receive an informative referral. As we've mentioned before, we did not specify a gender preference as we don't have one, either a boy or girl would be amazing.

Once a referral is received we will need to (very quickly) consult an International Adoption Specialist (which is a specialization in Pediatrics). They will review the brief medical information and review the photo(s) for any markers of genetic issues (Trisomy 21, overt Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, etc) and then inform us of his/her medical opinion within 48 hours. Once we receive that we will advice our agency that we will either accept or refuse the referral.

If we accept the referral the agency will advice the proper people in-country in Vladivostok and we will receive an Invitation to Travel.

The travel date will be quick, within 2 weeks, so we will be scurrying to get ready.

If we need to refuse the referral, we will advise the agency of the medical reason why and return the the waiting list. We hope this will not happen.

Q: Why would you refuse a referral?

A: In Nova Scotia, the Department of Community Services approves you for certain things when adopting a child. These include but are not limited to:

1. The number of children;
2. Age (or age range) of the child(ren);
3. Gender of the child(ren) (if applicable); and
4. Medical conditions you are approved to accept or medical conditions you are not able to accept.

If you want to accept certain things, multiple children, certain medical conditions, etc. then you must be assessed, interviewed and approved for it by the province.

Our parameters are:

1. Single child - we only have 1 spare room so we are only able to adopt 1 child. Each child in an adoptive home must have their own bedroom.
2. Age range - 0-2.5 years of age at time of referral
3. Either gender
4. In our case we were assessed to not accept certain medical issues, but we choose not to announce what they are in order to protect the privacy a potential referred child.

* PLEASE NOTE* Any referral or child of ours will not have their medical information posted. We believe in privacy for our child, and it would not be our information to share. That choice belongs to the child when they are old enough to decide for themselves.

File Update!

We're getting close. So close.

Our file is back from the Russian Consulate and was couriered to Vladivostok yesterday. 

Next steps:

1. Dossier Translation,
2. Translation gets notarized,
3. The English and Russian copies go to the Ministry of Education, and
4. We get registered!

And that's when we wait. We wait for a call. We wait for an email. We wait to hear that Russia, dear Russia, has found us a child.

We are so very, very close.

Russia, I can't wait to meet you. Soon.

I'm Not Crazy . . .

Our psychological assessment is done! After all was said and done, we paid $1135.00 for it, which is just fine with me if it means we get to be parents!

We met with the psychologist on Monday, and went over the final details. We couriered the paperwork to the agency that same day, so that part is done!

So the next step is to get the education squared away. If you remember our post from the other day, you'll remember that we're facing 3 distinct possibilities. Travel to Vancouver, waiting for the agency, or working with the same psychologist here.

We've eliminated the trip to Vancouver, and are now working on the other two options. We hope to know more in the next couple of days.

Is it just me, or does it seem like nothing in adoption is fast?

There is one other detail that is holding us up at this point, a piece of paperwork from the Social Worker who did our home study. We're hoping that we can resolve that today or tomorrow.

Also, we now have this beautiful photo everywhere: the blog title, Facebook and now in our home.

Can you see the little heart over Vladivostok in the bottom right corner?
We can't wait :)

A Form, By Any Other Name . . .

There are forms, and then there are forms.

Some forms are repetitive, some are a hassel, some are expensive to have filled out, and some are just awesome.

We signed the following forms tonight:

*photos cut to protect our privacy

We're seriously excited right now. It feels like we're getting close!

The Flu, Blog Changes and Travel Routes

Hello everyone!

Adam and I are still sick. We haven't done much over the last week, but we've had plenty of opportunity read the journeys of others who have adopted from Vladivostok. And we've had many naps.

We added a new blog feature! We would like to draw your attention to the new tab above titled "Learning The Language". This will link to you to a sister blog called 'Pam And Adam Adopt Russian' (clever or corny?). We'll use this to post the Word Of The Day, the alphabet and anything else that may come in handy.

Yesterday we asked for your help finding a cost effective way to travel to Vladivostok and stay at the Vlad Motor Inn. We thought we'd let you know that the new price to beat is $5402.40! Although I'm pretty sure that's as low as it's going to get, it doesn't hurt to keep looking, right? Three return trips plus a week's stay in Moscow on the final trip for Immigration purposes - so we'd like to save whenever we can!

Thank you to those who have helped look so far!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Updates on our friends who were travelling Russia last week.  

Our dear blogger friend Candice will be travelling back to Russia in a month or so to see the judge. It's been a long journey so we certainly hope things will move quickly for a happy homecoming.

Our friend, K, whom we had met at International Adoption Training, signed the paperwork to formerly accept her referral. We wish her all the best and can't wait to hear about her trip!

So, How Are We Going To Get To Vladivostok?

Do you remember when many of you asked how you could help us on our adoption journey? Well, we need your help!

Since Adam and I found out that we're going to Vladivostok, we've been researching how we're going to get there and where we're going to stay. The best price we can come up with is $6334.06 from Toronto to Vlad with lodging.

We would like to ask our friends, family and readers if they could look around for the best deals. You may know of good resources we don't, and may have ideas that we haven't. :) 

$6334.06 is the number to beat folks!

First, let's look at the distance. If we cross the Atlantic Ocean and go through Moscow it's 13,054 kms aka 8117 miles. If we cross the Pacific, stopping in Seattle, USA is 22607 kms aka 14047 miles. We will stop just about anywhere, but anything more than 3 or 4 stops is just not realistic.
 
~ Our biggest concern is cost. The length of travel is a consideration (less than 30 hours is preferred), stop overs aren't a big deal and then there's lodgings.

~ There are a  number of hotels in Vlad, but where we will stay will be limited by: 1) what our driver and guide will be near, and 2) what is easy travel to the orphanage. We don't know what orphanage we will be lucky enough to go to, as there are over 86 in the surrounding area of Primorski Krai (the province).

~ In my extensive obsession with reading about adoption stories in the area, most of the people have stayed at the Vlad Motor Inn. There's no guarantee, but it's the best guess we've got at the moment. The Vlad Motor Inn has a restaurant and you can get rooms with a small kitchenette which is very important as I have a food sensitivity and need to control my food.

~ Also, we only get 7-10 days notice to travel. So there's no booking way in advance! We'll need to be there Monday - Friday.

~ Miles/Clubs/Points: Well, we started collecting Aeroplan miles last year and have enough to travel from Halifax to Toronto and return for the both of us (we have about 60,000 miles).  I say Toronto because a lot of searches we've done take us through there. Also, the # of miles needed jumps drastically when you use the points to leave Canada.

You can leave a comment on the blog or reach us by email at pamandadamadopt@gmail.com. 

Thank you everyone! 

We're Going To . . . .

Vladivostok!

Today we got news from our agency - we'll be registering and adopting from Vladivostok! (Affectionately known to be nicknamed Vlad).

Vlad is a city of approx. 600,000 people in the province of Primorsky Krai in Russia. It is the home of Russia's Pacific Fleet and is cradled between China, North Korea and Japan.

Until the 1970's Vlad was closed to foreigners as it was closed during the Soviet era. So we get to go see this wonderful place where not many Canadians have gone!

Vlad is remarkably like Halifax. It's on somewhat of a peninsula, home of a navy fleet, and one of the main industries is fishing. It's almost exactly on the other side of the world and the climate/weather/temperature is pretty close to what it is here. Perhaps it's kismet?

And yes, it's in Siberia. In fact, it's the eastern starting point of the Trans-Siberian Railway (highlighted in blue).

It's a wonderful feeling to know that our child is there. Since our child would be at least 9 months old before being added to the international registry, s/he is likely there right. this. minute.

That's a very heart-warming and comforting thought.

So Adam and I are over the moon happy right now, and cannot be more excited.

(To be honest, I kind of thought in the back of my mind that that might be where we go - I'm really pleased!)

So this is great news!

Next Steps

So we have a few paperwork adjustments to make, and then we will be working on the region-specific paperwork.

Celebrate!!

So how do we celebrate such a monumental moment in our adoption journey? Why we shop, of course!

We love the pieces we picked out. They are Espresso and from Babies R Us. We'll have to hold tight on decorating until we find out boy/girl.

The crib converts to a toddler bed, day bed (no safety rail) and a double bed.