A Brief Pause For Russian Parents

The following news story is a development. While the introductory paragraph is hopeful for adoptive parents around the world, the story goes on to explain that it is only a brief interruption in the bill.

You will see that I have bolded 3 lines in the story. Please take note of them.

Line #1 - a startling number by any measure, emphasizing the seriousness of this bill.
Line #2 & 3 - brief mention of the legislation that is being used to justify that adoption suspension to countries that allow same-sex marriage.

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Source: http://en.ria.ru/russia/20131019/184246033.html

Russian MP Withdraws Bill Taking Children 

Away From Gay Parents

MOSCOW, October 19 (RIA Novosti) – A bill that proposes stripping gays with children of their parental rights, introduced by Russian lawmaker Alexei Zhuravlyov, has been withdrawn from the parliament, a spokesperson for the lawmaker said Saturday.

“Yes, he has indeed withdrawn it,” spokesperson Sofia Cherepanova said, adding that the document would be later revised and again submitted to the Russian State Duma. She said that the author’s position on the matter “remains unchanged.” “Anyway, we are interested in passing the bill,” Cherepanova added.

Zhuravlyov, a member of the ruling United Russia party, submitted the bill to the lower house of the Russian parliament in September. However, the proposal has not received any significant public backing.

Between 5 and 7 percent of the Russian population are gay, a third of whom have children, Zhuravlyov’s bill claimed, citing unspecified experts. If true, between 2.3 million and 3.3 million Russians could possibly lose their children if the bill was passed.
The bill was a follow-up to legislation introduced in June that bans propagation of “gay propaganda among minors,” according to the document’s text, available on the State Duma’s website.

“Harm that could be inflicted on a child’s mental health in case of their parent’s homosexual contacts is immense,” the bill’s author said in a note accompanying the document.

The bill cited a controversial 2012 study by US sociologist Mark Regnerus as proof that gay parenting distorts a child’s sexual orientation and increases suicidal tendencies, social ineptitude and risks of catching venereal disease.

The study by Regnerus, an associate professor at the University of Austin and a practicing Christian, has sparked vehement debate in the sociological community and was formally condemned by the American Sociological Association as invalid earlier this year. Zhuravlyov’s note makes no mention of the controversy, but claims Regnerus’ findings were corroborated by unspecified independent experts.

Malta

Another country has seen Russia stop adoption proceedings due to the adopting country’s allowance of same-sex marriage.

This news article from the Malta Independent outlines the story.

As you will see in the story, Malta is just getting their marriage equality laws in place, so the story suggests that perhaps adoptions could continue with greater inquiry into the adoptive parents. Wouldn’t that be nice!

* * * * * * * * * * *   * * *   * * * * * * * * * * *

Prospective heterosexual parents who were anxiously awaiting their adoptive children to arrive to their new Maltese homes from Russia were shocked when they were informed that all adoptions from Russia have been put on hold pending the Maltese Parliament’s decision to legalise same-sex ‘marriage’.

Following reports in other media that adoptions from Russia have been ‘temporarily frozen’, this newspaper has seen correspondence of a Maltese couple who were preparing a new home for their adoptive daughter, born to Russian parents in Russia.

 

Notwithstanding the fact that most of the paperwork was complete and that the child was due to travel to Malta in the coming months, the married couple is now living a nightmare after receiving emails which have halted the process.

The couple was informed that due to the situation in Malta, with Parliament soon to legislate in favour of ‘civil unions’ giving same-sex couples the right to adopt, Russian authorities have pulled the hand-break on all possible adoptions to Maltese couples. This directive follows a Moscow court ruling which precluded Swedish gay couples from adopting from Russia.  Russia is currently legislating against gay couples raising children of their own.

One particular expert in the field who preferred to remain anonymous told The Malta Independent that this could be a temporary setback and that following in-depth investigations by the Russian authorities on the applicants (adoptive parents) all will return on track.

However the expert did emphasis that given the hard stand taken by the Russian government against gay unions, Maltese applicants for Russian adoptions will be scrutinized in greater detail.  It is also most likely that when the ‘gay marriage’ bill becomes law, for adoptions to continue, some kind of bilateral agreement will be needed between Russia and Malta that will exclude same-sex couples from adopting from Russia.

Adoptions from Russia to Maltese families account to 50% of all adoptions in the past three years. Other countries from where children have been adopted recently are Cambodia, Vietnam and Ethiopia. Yet difficulties are arising in these countries too, making it very hard for Maltese couples who wish to adopt to offer a loving home to children whose future is bleak.

Countries like Pakistan and Romania were previously the most popular destinations from where adoptions took place but now that these destinations became ‘out of reach’ with no bilateral agreements in place between Malta and these countries, Russia had become the most preferred option.

Maltese couples adopting children from Russia have to pay legal fees amounting between €20,000 and €30,000 for one adoption.

How Does Information Spread??

Since we went public, we've received a lot of questions about how we know others in similar situations.

Well, the truth is, the internet is an incredible thing.

There is an overwhelming amount of support to be found on the internet. Perfect strangers who come together to support one another, and help educate one another, as they go through similar journeys. In times of distress and uncertainty, people come together and learn from each other.

There are blogs, private message forums, and emails. Anything you need to know - about what to expect, where to go, who to talk to (or not talk to) or what someone else experienced - is available with a few clicks of a button.

We have talked to people from various countries, various backgrounds and various experiences.

When we started there wasn't much publicly available about Canadians in the process of Russia. Some, but not much. So we started this blog. And you know what? People found us.

This blog has served to connect more people than I can count. We have readers all over the world, including in Russia.

There are more blogs out there that are not public, that you need a private invitation to see. There are locked-down chat-rooms and forums to protect people's identities and the information they share.

An important benefit to being online is that people raring use their real identities. It provides a curtain of privacy to share the cold hard truth and unedited stories without anyone being incriminated or accused.

People need to have a way to connect that isn't moderated by people in positions of authority.

Like I said, the internet is a wonderful thing.

How difficult is it to adopt a child in Nova Scotia?

CBC has done a follow up story on the one we were featured in the other night.

We received a very heartfelt phone call from CBC this morning, apologizing for the backlash, and assuring us that they had no idea how negative and uninformed the response would be. Additionally, the lady we've been dealing with, P, offered to listen should we simply need someone to talk to through the news stories and our journey. Thank you, P.

P told us we'd be front and centre again while they did a story on adoption in Nova Scotia. CBC wanted to show Canada what the reality is like, a first step in informing Canadians and dispersing falsehoods.

Quicker than expected, the story appears on CBC News website this afternoon.

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How difficult is it to adopt a child in Nova Scotia?
1,300 Nova Scotia children in foster care, less than half cannot be adopted

Pam and Adam Webber dreamed of adopting a child from Russia, but got stuck in the middle of a international adoption dispute. (CBC)

Pam and Adam Webber had a dream of adopting a child from Russia, but the Halifax couple's plan was thwarted by that country's decision to suspend Canadian adoptions.

It was a bitter blow, considering their decision to opt for the international route came after failed fertility treatments and a three and a half year wait to adopt within Nova Scotia.

After they took their story public to CBC News, many people questioned why they weren't trying to adopt in Nova Scotia.

In fact, the Webbers were told that because they wanted to adopt a child under the age of five, they could be on a waiting list for up to eight years.

Janet Nearing is the acting director of Nova Scotia's Department of Community Services, which oversees both the provincial and international adoption process. She agrees the wait is lengthy for young children.

"Last year we placed 16 infants and that would actually be kind of a high number for us," she said. "It's often less than 10."

Nearing said the wait is shorter if families are willing to adopt children more than eight years old, siblings in groups of three or more, or children with significant special needs.

If a family is African Nova Scotian or bi-racial, Nearing said their wait may also be shorter because many of the children in the department's care are African Nova Scotian and officials wants to ensure their cultural heritage is maintained.

There are currently 1,300 children in foster care. Of them, 876 have a temporary status and cannot be adopted — the department is still trying to reunite them with their biological families.

Last year, 122 children in Nova Scotia were adopted.

There are now 130 families approved and waiting for a referral with more than 400 others still taking training or being assessed.

Nearing said there are no restrictions based on age or marital status. Only those who have been convicted of child abuse or have a health condition that would prevent them from taking care of a child would be considered ineligible.

As for international adoption, only 17 Nova Scotia families registered to go that route last year. That's down from more than 100 in 2006. Nearing said that's due to the changing rules by countries such as China.

"Other countries have either closed their doors or imposed new restrictions or criteria that have made it quite difficult for families to proceed," she said.

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Additional to the 130 families waiting and the 400 in training and being assessed, there is a large number of families in the position we are - waiting to be trained and assessed. Having waited as long as we have is daunting, but there are many who have waited longer. 

Happy Anniversary! August 2013

Overwhelming Support

We would like to thank everyone who has contributed to the overwhelming messages of support we have received.

To say we feel encouraged would be an understatement.

So sorry for you two, I didn't realize what was going on. 

Hopefully something will make it happen!

                                                     - C

Thank you C! No one knows what is going on, and this is the reason we spoke to CBC.

Pam my heart just breaks for you and Adam... 

I keep you in my thoughts and prayers and pray that one day you will have 

the family you so truly deserve! 

                                                        - H

Thank you H! You have been such a huge support to me through miscarriages, fertility treatments and the adoption path.

Pam and Adam, my heart aches for you. I pray there 

will be a turnaround in the politics holding this all back.

                                    - C

Thank you C!! We hope that shedding light on the situation will encourage the right people to discuss it. For the first time, we got some questions answered today.

In response to our late night phone call last night:

 

I'm proud of you guys for standing up for your rights and to put a voice 

on so many who are with you suffering. Clearly, they are clueless and prob had no 

idea this was even happening so they wanted to put a face on somebody to place 

their fear, pain and anger and unfortunately it was you two when they should have 

been joining your side:( just remember there will always be misguided haters 

and that to never give up on your dreams no matter what people say or do, 

it just means God is creating another path for you and those with the most trials who 

work the hardest always have the greatest victories. You help bring needed awareness 

to others left in the dark so now you can both move on to a new route filled with light. 

That nursery will not go to waste- God bless you both. Hugs

                                                   - J

As always J, your words are sweet and comforting. Thank you.

It took a lot of guts to share what you are going through. 

I hope that is that you see the good in sharing your story. Hugs

                                                 - K

 Thank you K. 

Thank you everyone!

 

We Talked to CBC

Yes we did, and tonight it aired on The National.

We got one phone call, at midnight, from someone further along in the process. They were upset, accused us of wanting our 15 minutes of fame, and told us we just cost them their adoption. The told us not to talk to anyone else. They also said that we shouldn't "brag" about the $25,000 we've spent so far and they are much more financially invested than we are.

Well, while I don't appreciate being called at midnight so someone can tell me off, I am looking at it as they are in a place of pain also, and I will leave it at that. But calling at midnight isn't nice.

But let me makethis clear.

We will not compare our situation to others. We will not compare our pain to the pain of others.

This isn't a game, it isn't a sympathy plea - it's a story that Canadians need to know about, and something the Canadian government needs to deal with on behalf of all Canadian adoptive parents. Being in a place of uncertainty for weeks with no answers, no one willing to talk to us about what's going on and no one paying attention - the story needed to be brought to attention.


And that's all I'll say about that.

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I can't seem to find the video link at the moment, but I'm sure you can find it on CBC. 

Story Link: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/russia-quashes-halifax-couple-s-hopes-of-adopting-a-child-1.2159683

Russia quashes Halifax couple’s hopes of adopting a child
Pam and Adam Webber say Canada-Russia adoptions jeopardized

A Halifax couple says their dreams of adopting a child have been crushed by Russian politics.

Pam and Adam Webber were in the final stages of a year-long adoption process. They thought they'd be flying to Russia this fall to bring home a toddler, but then they heard Canadian adoptions of Russian children were in limbo.

“It's just heart wrenching and really hard to take,” said Pam.

International adoption was the end of the line for her. She and her husband tried fertility treatment and adopting from within the province with no luck.

“We wanted a family. We wanted a young family. We wanted a very involved family. I was the little girl who asked Santa for her own baby,” she said.

Adam Webber said they chose Russia because they heard the process is quicker.

“Quick being a year or two, as opposed to three or more years like a lot of places,” he said.

But soon the Webbers starting hearing about a change in Russia’s attitude on adoption.

Single parents and same-sex couples were barred.

A Russian law banning adoptions by U.S. citizens was rushed through parliament in December and sped to President Vladimir Putin's desk in less than 10 days in retaliation over a U.S. law calling for sanctions on Russians identified as human-rights violators.

Then, earlier this month, the country stopped adoptions to Sweden because it allows same-sex marriages.

But there was no word on Canada, so the Webbers prepared a toddler's room and Pam quit her job so she could fly to Russia at a moment's notice this fall.

Still, they braced for bad news. On Tuesday the Webber’s fears were confirmed by their Ontario adoption agency.

“It’s been a long couple of weeks trying to get answers and officially we found out today that Canada-Russia adoptions are suspended,” she said.

Closing the door

Robin Pike, executive director of Choices Adoption and Counselling in Victoria, said there has been no official word that Russia has closed adoptions to Canada, but it is closing adoptions to countries that allow same-sex marriages.

The Webbers said they don’t think their change of luck is a coincidence.

"I think the party in charge is probably scoring political points — with whoever it is that they think they should be scoring political points with — by taking this hardline against same-sex couples,” said Adam.

In December President Vladimir Putin signed a bill banning Americans from adopting Russian children.

The Webbers never met their prospective child, but had completed all the paperwork. The couple say they’ve lost $25,000, along with their hopes of starting a family.

“We've spent the last few weeks, last month or so, trying to start our grieving process for this family that we thought we would have very soon and there's nothing we can do. There's nothing that the provincial people can do. There's nothing that our federal people can do,” said Pam.

“We’re in a lost position.”

In 2012 UNICEF estimated that there are about 740,000 children not in parental custody in Russia while about 18,000 Russians are on the waiting list to adopt a child.

“It's those children that aren't necessarily chosen by the people in country that could have gone somewhere else and been loved,” said Pam.

“It’s been a long road. I hope everyone realizes how lucky they are to have kids.”

Pike’s agency is advising prospective adoptive parents to look to Bulgaria or Hungary instead.

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Getting The Government Involved

After weeks of no news, no answers, and ambiguous media reports from foreign news sources, Adam and I requested a meeting with our MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly).

Despite there just having been an election here in Nova Scotia, she has made time to see us on Monday.

If we can't get answers from our agency, and Russia isn't making any formal statements, it's time we ask for help. It is time that we, as Canadians, ask our government to look into the real situation. Conjecture and media can only get us so far.

So our MLA will be here Monday evening. We encourage everyone in the same position to do the same thing.

Parliament Hill, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Know What You Are Getting Into

Hi everyone,

It has come to our attention that at least 1 agency is still taking applications for Russia.

If you have come across our blog in your research, please consider waiting until there are real answers and a clear policy about recent events before signing an agency contract.

The last thing we want is anyone to be put in a bad position if it could have been avoided.

So please - do your research, ask the tough questions, and be careful!

Word From Our Agency

As you all know, we have been waiting to hear from our agency about the latest.

They were back to work on Monday, and I (Pam) spoke to them today.

Here's what they told me: no comment.

They went on to explain that they will not tell their clients anything until a formal statement is made, or a policy change is made.

When asked why we are having to hear adoptions news through other agencies, our agency refused to comment.

So, no formal answers are coming from them.

Sweden

With heavy hearts and logical minds, we have been waiting for movement in Russia.

Unfortunately, for Sweden it has arrived.

Sweden, a country that allows same sex marriage, has been banned from adopting from Russia for this reason. This is what was expected, and Canada will soon be next.

Sources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/04/russia-adoptions-sweden-gay-parents_n_4045252.html

http://rapsinews.com/legislation_news/20121101/265205550.html

http://www.ryot.org/russia-halt-adoptions-gay-friendly-countries/403933


The two Russian adoption agencies in Canada that have been closed are going back to their regular hours. Including ours. I look forward to hearing from them, although I don't know what more than can tell us.

We'll keep this blog updated with as much information as we can.

Pam & Adam