Q & A #1 & 2 - Referrals

Q: What happens when you get a referral?

A: We will get a referral from our agency who will contact us by phone or email (or both if we don't immediately respond). 

There are two type of referrals:

1. A blind referral - we will be given no information other than being told there is a child available that the Russian Ministry of Education feels is a good match for us.
2. An informative referral - age, gender, minimal pertinent medical details and, hopefully, a photograph or two.

Not many areas in Russia still work with blind referrals, but our agency has received them in the past and it is a possibility. If we were to receive one we, ofcourse, would be thrilled and leave as soon as possible.

We expect to receive an informative referral. As we've mentioned before, we did not specify a gender preference as we don't have one, either a boy or girl would be amazing.

Once a referral is received we will need to (very quickly) consult an International Adoption Specialist (which is a specialization in Pediatrics). They will review the brief medical information and review the photo(s) for any markers of genetic issues (Trisomy 21, overt Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, etc) and then inform us of his/her medical opinion within 48 hours. Once we receive that we will advice our agency that we will either accept or refuse the referral.

If we accept the referral the agency will advice the proper people in-country in Vladivostok and we will receive an Invitation to Travel.

The travel date will be quick, within 2 weeks, so we will be scurrying to get ready.

If we need to refuse the referral, we will advise the agency of the medical reason why and return the the waiting list. We hope this will not happen.

Q: Why would you refuse a referral?

A: In Nova Scotia, the Department of Community Services approves you for certain things when adopting a child. These include but are not limited to:

1. The number of children;
2. Age (or age range) of the child(ren);
3. Gender of the child(ren) (if applicable); and
4. Medical conditions you are approved to accept or medical conditions you are not able to accept.

If you want to accept certain things, multiple children, certain medical conditions, etc. then you must be assessed, interviewed and approved for it by the province.

Our parameters are:

1. Single child - we only have 1 spare room so we are only able to adopt 1 child. Each child in an adoptive home must have their own bedroom.
2. Age range - 0-2.5 years of age at time of referral
3. Either gender
4. In our case we were assessed to not accept certain medical issues, but we choose not to announce what they are in order to protect the privacy a potential referred child.

* PLEASE NOTE* Any referral or child of ours will not have their medical information posted. We believe in privacy for our child, and it would not be our information to share. That choice belongs to the child when they are old enough to decide for themselves.

Ask Away!

Adam and I get a lot of questions about our adoption. Sometimes the questions are about the process, or the child, or the next steps. Sometimes they are about how we made the decision to adopt, and sometimes we are asked about our fertility treatments.

No authentic and sincere question is off limits. It's your turn to be a little nosy if you want to be ;)

I invite you to ask any question you have. If you are family or friend, potential Adoptive Parent or just curious, ask what you like and we'll answer all the questions in a future blog post.

The Official Wait Begins

We heard from our agency today. Our file was delivered to the Ministry of Education last week for registration.

Now we wait. We really wait. We wait for the call. The Call.

Thankfully, this gives me (Pam) something to do. Really. I've been driving Adam bonkers with my restlessness. I do better when I can do something, or control something. So now I have a few things to do:

1. Order US funds to our bank. We need new, non-creased bills. This will be used for official fees.
2. Order Rubles in - we need money for in-country expense.
3. Track down and organize what International Adoption Specialist we will use to help us review our referral. Until we decided to adopt, we didn't even know Adoptive Medicine was a discipline!
4. Make sure we have suitcases and everything easily accessible and good to go. 
5. Fill out Russia VISA applications and don't sign/date them yet. That will be the most harried rush of the first trip.
6. Talk to our work supervisors and let them know that it may be a matter of days, weeks or months, and our first trip will happen with approximately 2 weeks notice.

Now comes the real wait. 

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In my ever-patient state, I happened upon a great list of things to do while waiting and I thought I would share with my readers. Some don't really apply to us, but others are a good shove to get things done. I've picked out a few from the list that stuck out.

Courtesy of Creating A Family:

3. Get the required immunizations. If you are adopting internationally and travelling to get your child, find out if you are required or recommended to have any immunizations for your adoption trip.  Some immunizations, such as hepatitis B, require several shots over about six months, so get started.

8. Prepare Grandparents on Attachment Parenting.  If you are adopting a newborn, this likely won’t be necessary.  But if you are adopting an older baby or toddler or child, then you need to educate then on parenting techniques to enhance attachment and how they can help.
14. Choose a name.  Check out these name books. http://www.creatingafamily.org/adoption/suggestedbooks/babyname.html

15. Pamper yourself.  Consider long soaks in a tub with candlelight and wine if money is tight, but take a vacation if you can afford to.  This babymoon may be the last child free vacation in a long while.

19. Organize your closets, drawers, and cupboards.  If you are feeling really industrious or anxious move on to your basement, attic, or garage.  If you still have excess energy, come start on my house.

20. Take a child CPR course.  It should cover the Heimlich manoeuvre for babies and young children.  Ask your pediatrician where a course is offered or call the local Red Cross.

22. Learn as much of your child’s birth language as possible.  Obviously this only applies to international adoptions. At the very least learn travel phrases (where’s the bathroom, how much is this) and polite phrases (please, thank you, hello, good bye) and child phrases (I love you, mama, daddy, are you hungry).
28. Learn a few lullabies and bouncy games. Check out these resources to help you. http://www.creatingafamily.org/adoption/suggestedbooks/lullabies.html
31. Learn baby massage techniques. The Creating a Family suggested baby massage books. http://www.creatingafamily.org/adoption/suggestedbooks/babymassage.html

38. Get information on kid friendly activities. Your community likely has many inexpensive activities for you and your child to participate in such as library story times, mother/child gym or swimming classes, and neighborhood play groups. 

40. Buy baby/child announcements and address the envelopes.  You can find online sources to buy adoption specific announcements on our Adoption Shopping page. http://www.creatingafamily.org/adoption-resources/adoptionshopping.html

And sometimes . . .

Courtesy of the upcoming movie, The Boxtrolls.

That pull you're feeling on your heart? That's what we're feeling right now, while we wait for news about becoming parents.

We are waiting, albeit it is difficult. We know it will be worth the wait, and we will be forever grateful to Russia, although we wait to hear and hope for news every day.

One Way Or Another . . .