The Last Post

This will be the last post on this blog.


Last week we received an email from our adoption agency (still unnamed on this blog). They are closing down their services with the exception of facilitating post-placement reports. They will be checking their messages once a week.


We also heard from our provincial adoption team. And from our MP.

Canada will now require a bilateral agreement to adopt from Russia. One is not yet in motion although Canada is looking into it. The problem is twofold:

1. It will require 2-5 years to complete; and
2. The terms violate Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Thus, it is over. It the most final sense of the word.

Even if one were somehow done, we would need to start completely over.

If you've paid attention to this blog at all, you would know that we are at the shit-end of the provincial list. You can not adopt across provincial lines unless there is a private match or a family match.

Before you contact us to give us ideas, please keep in mind that many random "adoptive parents wanted" posts/posters are scams.

If you know someone who is looking to make an adoption plan for their child/ren please consider us.

Make no mistake, this is a loss. A loss we are grieving. This is the first time we have truly been expectant parents. We have to heal from this. It is hard and it is emotional.


Thank you to the people who have truly supported us.

An Update.

This update came to us from our MP's office. It was received from the Russian Desk at Foreign Affairs.

Our MP, and his office, have been absolutely amazing today.

Most of this isn't new information, but it is what is most current.

******************************

On July 3, 2013, Russia passed legislation prohibiting adoption to same-sex couples or single people in countries that recognize same-sex marriage.

On August 29, the Russian Supreme Court issued a directive that seems to restrict  adoption to countries that allow same-sex marriage that don't have bilateral agreements or that allow re-adoption without Russian approval.

It is unclear what this directive means, or if it has legal weight.  Lower courts are all interpreting it differently in Russia, leading to a variety of responses in different districts.  Some are saying they just need an agreement that there will be no re-adoption without Russian approval.

The confusion has led to open adoption applications being put on hold until there is clarification about what impact this directive will have.

Foreign Affairs is in contact with Russian officials through the Canadian embassy in Moscow and the Russian embassy in Canada, and Citizenship and Immigration Canada is also engaged because they are the federal agency that deals with inter-country adoptions.

There are about 50 open cases in Canada that may be impacted.

Foreign Affairs has sent registered correspondence to Russia asking for clarification about the impact of this legislation and highlighting the Canadian cases that are currently in progress and asking how they will be handled. They have not yet received a response.

The Russian Ministry of Education and Science, which is responsible for adoption, had a meeting with Canadian officials about two weeks ago.  The two messages were that Russia is looking to lower its inter-country adoption rate and is encouraging countries to enter bilateral agreements.

So far only one country has a bilateral agreement with Russia.  Canada has requested a copy, and legal experts are examining it to see if such a thing would be possible in Canada.  Canada is also consulting with other countries, and the problem is not isolated to Canada.

Canada's preference has been to operate under the multilateral Hague agreement, which Russia has signed but not ratified.

Foreign Affairs is raising the issue at every opportunity and advocating that ongoing cases be allowed to proceed.

******************************

Our MP Called

After not hearing from our government in the last month, we again how to kick up stink to have anyone talk to us. Our agency too.

Our MP took pause from his schedule while in Ottawa to call today. He didn't realize that people were not talking to us. He assumed agencies were keeping the adoptive parents informed.

Um - that's a big fat NO.

Why would people want to know what is going on? It's not as though it's important . . . oh wait - yes it is! It is the most important thing in our lives.

So our MP called and is putting questions to the people who have the information. I don't know how many times in the run of our 8 minute conversation I said the word 'communication' but it was a lot.

We want to know what is going on.

We deserve to know what is going on.

And while some agencies are better than others and actually keep their people moderately informed, we are not so lucky. Had a meeting in Russia? Tell people the outcome. Without them having to drag it out of you.

At least our MP understands.

An Update? Not Really.

I know many people have come to this site in recent weeks looking for an update. I wish I could give you one. I wish I had one to give.

All I can do is share a statement from CIC dated November 15, 2013.

Why? Because no one is talking to us. We haven't heard from our agency since November 6th. The levels of government who contacted us to say they were working on the issue on behalf of Canadian Adoption Parents - we haven't heard from any of them since the week after the news story ended.

Our friends and families think we are in constant communication with the people with information. We would love to be. 

Our agency (which we have never named here) has been silent. Deafeningly silent.

Then again, they were silent before everything came to a head in October, stating "no comment" because there had been "no official policy change."  But there had been a policy change that Russia has used to justify the issue (as we've previously explained and as the CIC statement explains).

We've been left alone after making one last major effort for our own country and our own adoption agency to hear us when we say that we need to be kept informed.


Enough of the soapbox, here's the statement from CIC.

Notice – Important notice regarding adoptions from Russia

November 15, 2013 — On July 3, 2013, the Russian Federation adopted legislation that would prohibit the adoption of Russian children by same-sex couples and by single applicants who are citizens of countries that legally recognize same-sex marriage.
On August 29, 2013, the Russian Supreme Court issued a directive that seems to restrict the legislation on the adoption of Russian children by all couples from countries such as Canada that:

• recognize same-sex marriage;
• do not have a bilateral agreement on intercountry adoption with Russia; and
• permit the re-adoption of Russian children without the oversight of Russia’s Adoption Authority, in those cases where the original adoption fails.

A number of Canadian adoption cases in progress (along with those of other countries) appear to be caught by these legislative changes, resulting in delays in setting Russian court hearing dates or the rescheduling of dates that were already established.

The Government of Canada has been in contact with Russian authorities on this issue in order to seek further clarification. Canada has not yet received an official interpretation from the Government of Russia on their law. We are seeking clarification and answers about the impacts of the legislative change and the new directive on Canadians looking to adopt children from Russia and to better understand how the regional courts are applying them.

Canadian officials are also consulting with other foreign governments where same-sex marriage is legal to determine how the Russian legislation and the Supreme Court directive are being applied to their citizens.

Russian Subway Accepts Squats For Fare

I came across this recently, and I thought it was so awesome that I wanted to share it.

Canada should get on board!

*Please note, that we are heartbroken, we still fell in love with Russia for many reasons, and we won't stop adoring the country. 

Trying To Re-purpose

Doesn't that just say it all? Trying to re-purpose. Yes. It fits our position quite well.

We are trying to re-purpose.

We are trying to re-purpose our efforts. Although we aren't quite sure what that means.

We are trying to re-purpose our emotions. No, not re-purpose; re-direct. In this case we are trying to heal our wounds, and care for one another. We are trying to accept our new reality.

While we're dealing with our new reality, we're busy feeling a lot of emotions. Anger, despair, vulnerability. It's hard not to feel like a victim of circumstance. We feel sad. We cry. We hug. We stay quiet. We stay home.

It is hard. So hard. And it's something that no one else can understand. If you haven't been down the adoption road, you don't - or won't - get it.

Losing this adoption has been a lot like losing a pregnancy. Trust me on this - I have experience. While a miscarriage is physically painful, this adoption is painful in another way: it was the first time we've every truly been expectant parents.

The room was ready, the travel items bought, and the names chosen (1 for a boy, 1 for a girl). We were ready.

We've been ready. For a long time.

So now we need to re-purpose some other things.

We need to re-purpose some of the wonderful things we've bought.

We can't return them. The return time has long since passed. I'm not sure what we'll do with everything. We certainly can't afford to give it all away.  We're waiting. Waiting for inspiration.

But there is something we need help with.

Some really great people donated some great things for the orphange. And we don't know what to do with them.

We would love to send it over, but we can't afford to just ship a heavy box to the other side of the world.

So, we could use some recommendations. Please.

A More True Quote I've Ne'er Heard

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, 

but what you want is someone who will 

take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. "